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Ego: Who Am I?

Ego: Who Am I?One of my favorite stories is that of the Emperor’s new clothes. In my version, a little boy sitting on the shoulders of his father watches a king lead a procession down the street. Without understanding the nature of the celebration, which is the Emperor’s new clothes, it is obvious to the little boy that the Emperor has no clothes. In the pristine state of not holding the Emperor’s concept, a little boy can see the underlying reality. But what does this have to do with you or your ego?

This little story holds the entirety of mankind’s march to higher levels of maturity and awakening. And what this parable does best is point out that the parade is going in the wrong direction. We all start in the pristine state of a child’s lack of adult intellect. That intellect is then constructed of a variety of concepts that are held to be true, and that construction locates itself on top of our natural state. This is a good thing as far as it goes. So as a child, we are taught concepts and we are expected to hold those concepts as existent in reality. But are they really?

The major concept to which we are expected to adhere is that of ego. That is to say that we have all agreed that we are separate and autonomous actors in our own individual drama. Now, it doesn’t matter whether this is true or not true because we all act as if it were. And in so doing we continuously confirm our assumption that we are separate actors. We have even created language that worships the ‘I’ and the ‘You’ of separation. So it is clear that the ego is simply a concept or a placeholder that allows the functioning of our world as though we were all separate. We accept this energetically and make it a conceptual fact of our existence.

In both the paths of awakening and leadership we are constantly reminded that we need to expand outside the definition of who we are. In fact, there are two paths evident in our leadership world today. One says that we should continue to refine and shine our ego as though it were real so that we can dominate as an individual entity. Usually, when this approach has been worn out, we can see that maturity is the penetration of the concepts that we have previously assumed. This first method has us headed as much in the wrong direction as the Emperors parade. To reverse the parade route we must move inward toward the center of our being and beyond our assumed concept of ego. In order to expand outside the definition of who we are, we must go inside and past the definition that limits us in order to find the pristine state of pure vision.

Now many may want to argue with the concept that we are not the indomitable force that everybody agrees we are. But here is my suggestion: Simply look around and notice how the world actually works. Do you really control the outcomes of your own life? Is it possible that in your highest state you are much larger than the puny agreement you have made with the other supposed egos that surround you? Let these questions settle in your awareness and the answers will rise from who you really are to who you think you are today.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post a comment below and let’s engage in the conversation.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 5th, 2012 at 1:11 pm and is filed under Ego. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • http://twitter.com/Zambig @zambig

    Alan, I’d like to think that I am larger than the agreement with the other egos. Great blog post.

  • Matthew Gross

    We are infinite. The only limitations we have are placed upon us by ourselves, or the agreement we’ve made with other egos in this case. Nice way to put it Alan.

  • Ben

    Hi Alan,

    From the standpoint of experience, I can only agree. This is a wonderful post.

    When openness and clear seeing are primary, a much different picture appears. I will go as far to say that even the spiritual views and concepts adopted along the way kept me seeking. At the same time, they wereare necessary. Why? Because that is how it happened.

    It was a great day in Corporate America when I refused the carrot on the end of the stick. The conversation went something like this from a prospective Manager that was offering me an advancement opportunity.

    You know Ben, I was a project leader as yourself and my manager, the Director of Operations, has the same background. If you can take “your” knowledge and experience, and make this role a success, “you” have the opportunity to go far. This was totally a conceptual appeal with no discussion about the role and responsibilities.

    I won’t go into the details. The experiential truth is that the role was 3 times as much work, no increase in pay, and needed more staffing to be successful as I was performing a very close version of the role at the time. So, while the appeal was to my ego, the experiential assessment of what was needed to do a good job suggested that there needed to be a different structure and more staffing. I turned it down. It was not well received, and they knew they were being manipulative.

    The man that took the position lasted 8 months in the job. Fortunately, he was able to land in a position better suited for him at an increase in pay. Before he left he shared his experience of performing the position.

    What they did after he left is they hired a new manager, 1 project leader, moved in another project leader, and what they call a business owner. No ego pulling itself up by its boot straps could have handled all that and yet the conceptual appeal suggested it could be done.

    In another company ($6 billion in total assets), I was selected to be on a team of 21 people from around the company to work directly with the CEO to provide input and feedback on new programs and the experience of working in that company. It took one meeting for me to see that almost every paragraph out of the CEO’s mouth was totally conceptual. He was a product of his beliefs and what people were telling him about the business (Senior Leadership). This was about 15 years ago as I was first engaging with Zen, Advaita, and nonduality. The only thing I could think at the time was: This man is totally in conceptual hell along with myself I might add to be open and fair.

    To his credit, some part of him was trying to get to the truth. After I lobbed the first experiential grenade into the conceptual maze of what was presented, I found that I had other brave co-workers on the team. We blasted away at the concepts with experience for a solid year. Guess what happened?

    He kept us on for another 6 months rather than bringing in a new group of 21. Midway through the next year, he announced this would be our last meeting and that he greatly appreciated our service. He told us straight away that he wanted to keep us on. However, he was afraid that to keep us on the team was going to be harmful for our long term careers as we were exposing too many flaws in Senior Leadership proposals.

    I could go on and on. My point is that there is verifiable experiential evidence to what you advocate AND that it can be successful. It is difficult to operate in these venues at times because the conceptual haze is so thick. It is also true that we can influence dynamic and fundamental change by pointing out the difference between the conceptual and experiential and that in truth there is no separation or separate individual controlling anything. It is right in front of our face, and Thank you for standing up visibly and getting it out there.

    Deep Bow!
    Ben

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