It is commonly referenced by experts that a small infant begins life unaware that she, herself, is in any way separate from her mother or anything else for that matter. But there comes a time that she will be taught by the separate beings in her life that she is, like them, an independent, decision making being. And thus is created the egoic experience that she will likely assume is real for the rest of her life. Almost all the voices in her world will plaster her with input based on this supposed separation. But there will be one voice, that of the mystics and sages, that will point her back to prior unity of pure awareness. One has to imagine that this cacophony of expert’s voices all began somewhere. I wonder how that happened?
Imagine how it must have been in the beginning. From pure awareness, like that of the infant, the first look to the outside happened. It was the initial moment that a niggle suggested that there might be more than one thing out there. This was different than that. Yep, it all began with difference. But had anything changed? Likely nothing on the outside but definitely an intellectual ability within the being was triggered that now could see difference. Cognition began which is simply extracting something form the whole of all that is. Of course, it was assumed that this difference was a part of what was seen, not a new capability of the seeing itself. Fair enough. It’s easy to see that if one can make one thing into two, often referred to as duality, that this can be repeated ad infinitum yielding a duality geometrically multiplied. And with that difference came an extension of difference called meaning. One thing could be assigned some different essence than another. Wow this is getting complicated. Do you ever feel that way?
It’s easy to see that if we assume we are different from every other body we see and that we believe that some things mean different things than others that we now can assign ourselves to one set of somethings versus another. And with that, my friends, we assumed and we cemented our assumption that we each are separate actors paddling in a world of separate things.
How has this affected humanity? It has given us the proposition that there is something called the “truth”. So we endlessly spend our separate life believing that we can find some meaning that will make us less miserable or even ameliorate misery entirely. Remember that we are supported in this search by the entirety of humanity with it’s pundits, intellectuals and politicians to be forever engaged in such a search. Well almost the entirety. There is this small group of folks that noticed all the assumptions we had to make to life our life as we do. This small group considered that the vey act of making ourselves separate might be misery itself. And they began a journey with one simple inquiry, “Who am I?”. They weren’t looking for anything outside of themselves but rather a lived experience of who they actually might be in the original state of that infant, only now with a developed intellect.
Rarely is the nature of truth itself seen as different than discovering some intellectual concept of truth. But this is indeed the very obstacle to awakening itself.
I remember vividly my early days of ashram years in India. I had constructed in my mind what I considered to be the absolute theory of everything. This included every philosopher, sage and pundit I had ever read. In the ashram every day I would listen to the spoken words of an enlightened master. Of course, I would hear something new which invalidated my heretofore perfect theory. So I would return to my abode and reformulate my theory well into the wee hours of the morning. I did this religiously for years. I told myself that there would come that final moment when the theory would be perfect and this would result in my very own enlightenment. It was some years later that I came to find out that my guru was pointing me towards the experience of my non-separate self rather than the construction of the perfect concept.
I suppose I was so tired of doing what would never work that I heard his words in a new way. And from that moment a whole new search and possibility arose.
I suspect I am not writing to everyone that might read these words. If you find yourself arguing with what has gone before, feel free to simply know that you likely have a better concept than I do. These words are not really for you as I am really not very good at creating concepts and I have a track record to prove it. But if you are tired and miserable and are thinking the whole approach to finding truth might lead nowhere, here is your starting point. Begin to ask yourself, “What is a pointer and is there an experience out there that will immerse me in who I am?”. This is the first doorway of wisdom and will deliver you from the world of knowledge that assumes your very egoity. That egoity is the root of your misery and the reason you are searching in the first place.